Music is very important to me. I am always plugged in, and even when I’m not there is always a song in my head. Always. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a funk – pardon the pun – and it’s been hard to find my music. My iPod isn’t my friend right now, in spite of the many, many playlists I have to cover every mood – apparently I am one playlist short. I’m going through something I have not gone through before – at least, not to this degree. Nothing huge, nothing life or death, just… stupid (or different-than-my-usual stupid).
(But I guess that would explain why I don’t have a playlist for it.)
We all have music we associate with certain times in our lives, and over the past eight months or so I’ve been going through so much of my music, to the point where now none of it is any comfort to me because all of those songs both (old and new) have been a part of this particular time period that I’ve been trying to avoid. And then there were two days where I couldn’t listen to anything at all, or even hear anything in my head. That is not only very unusual for me, it’s actually rather painful.
One of my (many) issues is not just how I am feeling, but my anger at myself for feeling this way. I may be an over thinker, but I’m not the type of person to let myself “stew in my own juices” for too long. I know that I don’t have all the answers, and I will always look for outside help (and comfort) when I need it. My friends are invaluable to me. And so is my music.
So I finally decided not to focus on what I am feeling, and instead focus on working to get out of it. When I “lost” my music it became very difficult. I turned on the radio, but even that wasn’t totally safe for me. The new songs that I know have been a part of my past eight months (which I am trying to avoid), and when I listen to music for comfort I do not want to hear songs that I don’t know. But I kept trying, and continued flipping through the channels.
Last night a DJ saved my life.
Heh, not really – at least, not really that dramatic! But I did find something. One of the radio stations was playing recordings of Casey Kasem’s American top 40 countdowns – more specifically the top 100 year-end countdowns for the years 1975, 1978, 1980, and 1981 (at least those were the ones that I heard). And I started to find my music again. It was nice to go back, where every song was familiar.
Yes, many of them are on my iPod. I don’t know about you, but I can listen to songs over and over (and over and over and over) on my music player, but when I hear it on the radio it’s different. I get excited to hear them as if I haven’t heard them in long while – even to the point that if I’m in my car, I will not shut the radio off until the song is over. I’m not sure why that is; maybe it has to do with those mp3 player-less days when you had less control over what you are listening to. When you held your breath listening to the radio, hoping to hear a favorite song. When you were anxiously hovering your fingers over the button on the tape player, ready to press “record” the very instant you heard the first few notes, praying the DJ didn’t talk over it…
They played many of the songs that I have on my iPod (actually, I pretty much have all of them on my iPod – there are just some I listen to more often). But they didn’t hurt – well, not as much. The familiarity of listening to the countdown, Casey Kasem’s voice (and his little tidbits about each artist), that feeling, I guess, of being a kid again helped. And I was able to get some comfort, which was very nice.
The last year’s countdown that I had a chance to listen to was 1978, before the radio station’s “Turn Back the Clock Weekend” ended, and I was able to find something that I was able to make a playlist from that I would be able to listen to now. Even though many of my iPod songs were on the radio, I still had to avoid many of them on my iPod. But I found something. Yay, me!
We want the funk!
Ironic, right? Funk to get out of the funk.
I’m dancing, too.
(And I’m not thinking.)
It’s a nice break. And I have some of my music back.
Thank you (Fallettinme Be Mice Elf Agin).