I’m “one of those” people…

Do you know how easy it is to publish a book nowadays? 🙂

I read many posts, blogs, and articles about all of the choices we have to get published, with breakdowns of who pays the most, offers the best distribution, who’s fair … all valid discussions, and worth reading. Yes, I would love to be able to stop working the “job I have to pay my bills” and be able to spend all of my time writing, and still be able to pay my bills.


The bottom line is, any one of us can publish a book. For free. That basically tells me that SOMEONE screwed up. You never know who is going to take total advantage of that and publish books left and right … just because they can.

Someone like ME.life event


A Little Something for Everyone on Valentines Day

For whatever reason (the commemoration of a saint, the Christianizing of a Pagan festival, or the marking of the beginning of the mating season of birds), we have a “holiday” in mid-February to celebrate love and romance.

Like Christmas,  this is actually an “event” that should be an everyday occurrence. Also like Christmas, nobody parties harder this holiday than those interested in selling it.

Unfortunately, those that are selling it are marketing to one market audience only: couples. This has created a backlash and many negative feelings from those who are not a part of that group. “Singles Awareness Day” and “VD” are two common references to Valentines Day from those who don’t have a “+1”.

The couples who choose to celebrate this day should party it up as hard as they want to. Wear red. Buy flowers, chocolates, or diamonds. Wear a special red thong and heart pasties under your clothes and rock your partner’s world after an intimate dinner and a few glasses of wine. There is never a reason not to celebrate loving someone.

Even angry singles can find a way to make this day fun:

* Stand outside of Jared, and take pictures of everybody that goes inside. Then, use social media to spoil everyone’s surprise. You could take that further, by posting pictures with the caption, “He DIDN’T go to Jared!”

* Offer to babysit for the most annoying couple you know, just don’t tell them you are going to take their kids to the same restaurant they are going to.

* Make reservations for two at a restaurant that is known to be considered romantic. Make sure your table is in the middle of the room. Put a rose in a book and place it on the table across from you, and sit there looking like you are pathetically waiting for someone. Everyone around you might feel bad enough to buy you a drink. After an hour, begin to cry softly, making sure your mascara runs. That ought to get you a dinner.

I have to point out that these are things that could be done on any day of the year. Just like wearing special red panties, buying someone flowers or chocolates, enjoying a nice dinner and a bottle of wine.

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate LOVE. Celebrate it or don’t. But love is love is love, no matter how it is expressed; romantic, familial, or friendly, love is love. Celebrate the day, or celebrate every day with love. Everyone has it; it is in all of us. Whether or not you feel you have it to GET, I can assure you that if you have the awareness to feel that way, then you undoubtedly have it in you to GIVE.

SHARE love on Valentine’s Day,

and EVERY day.

Sprinkle that shit on everything.

Small, Symbolic Validations of Connection

My “thing” with certain jewelry started about 16 years ago, when I worked in an office with a much younger girl who gave me the necklace she had been wearing when I complimented it. I had initially refused to take it – it wasn’t valuable; I just didn’t want to take something that was hers. She told me then that while she did really like it, she’d ‘gotten her use out of it’ and now it was time for someone else to enjoy it. She also said that she felt compelled to give it to me the moment I said something about it. This particular girl was someone I thought to be an old soul and who I considered to be much wiser than I was. She lived in the present at every moment, and always found something to appreciate. We were in and out of each other’s lives in less than two years’ time, but I learned a lot from her. 

Thank you, Katie. I hope you are well.

Since then, my jewelry – necklaces in particular – has become somewhat significant to me, as a talisman, a reminder, and/or a symbolic validation of a connection of some sorts – it could be a connection with another person, or a certain connection with myself. When I find the right piece, I would wear it for years – and with Katie in mind, would give it away when the time was ‘right’ (Elina, the spinning ring you gave me stayed on my left thumb for 11 years, until I passed it on to someone special three years ago – another short but meaningful connection. Thank you, Elina.)

I will wear other jewelry, sometimes, when I dress up, but I will still wear the pieces I consider to be a part of me. Right now, I’m wearing five rings on my fingers that I don’t take off; one of them I’ve been wearing for almost two years. None of my ‘staple’ jewelry is worn out of habit; each piece means something. I never plan to pass anything on; when I buy it my intention is to keep it. Giving it away happens on a thought. Something inside tells me that “this person should have this”, and I go with that thought (part of my promise to myself to stay in the moment).

I remember buying a particular necklace in 2005 that I was still wearing in 2007, when I started driving a school bus in Easton. I’d had my eye on it for a while, and was so excited the day I finally bought it. It was nothing overly spectactular or even shiny; it was a simple tear-shaped stone on a black rope. But it caught my eye. Every time I saw myself in a mirror, I would see it and it would always make me smile. I don’t know why, I was conscious of the way it felt around my neck and it just felt good to wear it. Every day.

One of the girls on my bus, a high school senior, noticed it one day, and I remember knowing right then that I was going to pass it on to her, soon. It was a weird feeling, that knowing, but a good one. And it made me think of Katie, again. The girl mentioned my necklace a few times over the next few months.

On the last day of school, I put the necklace in an envelope. (I even remember making sure to wear a shirt with a higher collar, so my necklace – or lack of – wouldn’t be noticeable.) I also put a note in the envelope, explaining that I was passing along the same good feeling that was passed on to me. I handed her the envelope as I wished her good luck when she was getting off the bus, and watched her in my rearview mirror as she walked down the street, her back to me, as she opened it. I know the exact moment she saw what was inside, because she stopped walking – she just stopped. I can’t explain what I felt at that moment, but it was a rush of something quite good. Then, I just looked forward again and pulled the bus away from the curb, not wanting to look back again and maybe spoil that moment.

It was almost 6 years later before I wore another special necklace; this one wasn’t on a chain, but on a woven strand of rope. I wore it until it wore away – and even the timing of that happening was momentous.

Two years ago, I found one that ‘called’ to me. My moon. The moon has always held a special importance for me; I can’t explain it, it just does. As events changed in my life, that necklace became even more meaningful.

When things changed again, as they always do, I realized it was time for a new one. I needed to get a new one, and I was having a hard time parting with this one. I knew it was just my own unwillingness to accept the newer changes going on.

My friend Kara took me out for a drink on my birthday. I don’t know how the subject of jewelry came up, and I hadn’t told her about my ‘thing’ with jewelry – I don’t even know if she sees that night the way I did. All I know is all of a sudden, she reached up to her neck and grabbed hold of the pendant she was wearing and said that she ‘felt she should give it to me’; and she insisted on it. I knew that the stone was very special to her, too. I did take it, with the promise to return it when I was ‘done’. I put it on the same chain with my moon. It wasn’t a total change, but change enough. Thank you, Kara.

(It was that same birthday that my ‘mentor’ Sindy handmade a tiara for me to wear, out of crystals. I won’t bore you today with more talk of tiaras. Thank you, Sindy.)

I wore it for exactly one year, on the same chain with my moon. When my next birthday came (5 months ago), I felt it was time to give it back to her, and to get a new necklace. I found one, and gave her her stone back. The new one was only ‘good’ for me for about a month – it was a cheaper necklace; I started taking it off occasionally out of fear it would turn my neck green, and then I stopped wearing it altogether. I knew it wasn’t right for me, and inside I knew why; part of my reason for purchasing that particular necklace had to do with a continued refusal of letting the past go, but it was still important enough in that it got me to finally take off the other one.

My best friend Donna ‘gave’ me a necklace to wear about two months ago – I may have pestered her for it. 🙂 I just really wanted to wear it. It was a large labradorite stone in the shape of a heart.Thankfully, she gets me. (Thank you for that, Donna.) Another loaner, but I do feel that sense of timing. And, every day I have enjoyed wearing it; I can’t explain the comfort(best word choice I could find) that I get from feeling the weight of it, and seeing it.

Two weeks ago, I knew I was going to see her again and harrassed her about possibly having to give it back – and she let me keep it, saying I still needed it.

Today, I got a pendant in the mail from a friend. She’d messaged me on New Year’s eve with a picture of it, saying that my posts about Donna’s necklace made her think about it and “It’s not a heart, but if you like it just send me your address and it’s yours and you never have to return it.” She said, “I saw your post last night and thought about this piece (I’ve had it for ages and never wore it), and the weird thing was that it was in the first place I looked for it.”

It’s a moonstone – one of my favorite stones. And it’s huge. And gorgeous. And I LOVE it. Thank you, Cindy.

Donna will be happy she’ll get her necklace back – she’d been wearing it when I kind of begged for it. Right now I’m wearing both the moonstone and Donna’s necklace, until I see Donna. Both of them feel right together. I have a feeling the moonstone and I will be together for a long time.

Why am I talking about any of this? There are so many things tied in to these little, seemingly nothing stories, and the main one is of connections. The people that come in and out of our lives are not part of chance or any idea of randomness. There are no coincidences. It doesn’t matter if you cannot understand how I feel about symbology or jewelry; you have your own measure, definition, or marker for that which is significant and meaningful (think of the meanings behind engagement and wedding rings; this is similar). My last three out of four necklaces came to me (an event in its own right), and the one I chose didn’t ‘stick’; through friends in different circle-widths around me, each piece carrying it’s own different meaning to me, yet each one necessary. I spent a very short time with Katie – she literally disappeared from my life as soon as she left the job, but she is still with me and still a part of things I do. The high school girl I gave the necklace to was not a friend of mine; she was a student on my bus for ten months and I haven’t seen her since – and she is still with me, because I still remember the pure pleasure I got from giving her something that I really enjoyed (and I don’t miss it). Kara, a dear friend that I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I see her a year, loaned me an item special to her – something irreplaceable if I’d lost it. Donna – I can’t say enough about her. That bitch has my back (and most of my secrets). She sees what I refuse to admit (and tells me); I got one of her ‘good’ pieces of jewelry. And Cindy, who I only actually met in person once at the house of a mutually dear friend who passed less than two months later, just ‘thinking’ about giving me something that she couldn’t have known the depth of its meaning to me. They are always with me. Connections.

I have to acknowledge noticing all of these little serendipitous synchronicities, tied together by seemingly insignificant items. No, thingsdo not matter, but it is not the things themselves that I am realizing that I am humbled by (and I’ve just limited myself to talk of jewelry here, there are so many other things I am thankful for) – it is the timing, the energy, the meaning in these symbolic representations that I am in awe of – the nudges from the Universe that tell me that we all are connected, and everything is GOOD.

Thank you. I needed that.