Back-door Benefits of Fear

I don’t have to tell you what everyone’s talking about nowadays. But I’ll get into that later.

I’m a single American parent living the dream. That means I work too many hours for not enough pay, and sick time is a joke.

During the daily grind, there is nothing more worrisome, anger-inspiring, paralyzing, fear-inducing, and guilt-ridden than The Kid Sick Day – the day your child is sick enough to need to stay home.

— did you catch that? ‘Sick enough’? I caught it as I was typing, and realized what I was saying, realized the full implication.

Since The News hit, there have been many articles and news bits about a problem with people going to work sick. Apparently, this is only a problem now. They all say the same thing: too many people go to work sick. Duh. Then they talk about why it’s a bad thing. Some of them will even go so far as to mention that many employees really don’t have the option to take a sick day. Again, Duh. 

And that’s usually as far as it goes.

If you’re not a worker who has sick days, there’s a better-than-good chance you don’t have the luxury of its sub-category: The Kid Sick Day.

I’ll tell you, it’s a lot easier to go to work when I’m sick than it is when my kid is because I’m still able to monitor the situation. I may still be resentful that I have to, but it’s definitely a lower stress threshold.

When you don’t have allowed sick days, it can be very hard to get the time off. Most of us don’t work for fun, and a sick day means less of the necessary income. It can even mean problems with upper management if you decide that you are really ‘too sick’ to go in.

Oops; I said it again.

If you are sick but still going to work because you have to (because there’s no one to cover for you and people will die if you don’t), you’ll spend that time before work being especially miserable, angry, resentful, and … sick. You’ll carry all your meds and sick-paraphernalia in to work and pray that you don’t run into much of the general public and, if you do, you pray that you’ve disguised your sick well enough so as not to offend them. Look, lady, I didn’t WANT to come in today!

If your child is sick, the paraphernalia stays at home, surrounding the child in his or her bed. (Since YOU are not sick, there’s no reason for you to not work, right?). And you get ready for work especially especially miserable, angry, resentful, and … worried and guilt-ridden. You are aware that you are forced to choose between the necessary job and your child, and neither answer will be right. If you choose your child (and still manage to keep your job and/or job stability), you will be concerned about the loss of income and possible negative treatment from upper-management that you were not there for them when they needed you. If you choose your job, you are a bad parent who neglects your child in a time of need. You will not be there if things worsen, you cannot fully monitor the situation, and you cannot comfort. Even a phone call might not get you there fast enough.

So, you bite the bullet and choose the job, because the income will help pay for doctor visits, orange juice, crackers, and aspirin. You spend the last five minutes before you leave the house with your hand on the door, frozen in self-doubt, worry, guilt, and resentment, knowing you should stay home and feeling you can’t. But your mind will not be on your job – which will always be pleasing to your boss.

Until now.

My kid has a fever today. It’s almost high. This child of mine would always get higher than average fevers; that became our norm. Fever days in general are worse because you want the kid to sleep, but you want regular check-ins while you are working. The only time I took a sick day in my current job wasn’t when I had the ‘flu, but when the symptoms of an intestinal virus … let’s just say I couldn’t leave the bathroom. Even my boss didn’t want to deal with that mess.

I got ready for work (yes, angry, resentful, and guilty). I stood at the door for five minutes beating myself up. I went to work. I told my boss that my kid was home sick and I would be expecting check-in phone calls —

and was sent home to take my kid to the doctor.

Specifically, because of The News (and yes, I was told to for that reason).

I may shed a little tear on payday, but right now I’m where I should be and able to take care of business.

 

 

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